From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
