I cannot find my penis.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
