Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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