"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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