who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
