maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
How external is "for external use only"?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize