He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
