So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
