Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
