do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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