mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You don't make any sense
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