Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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