You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
