Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
