May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
