i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
