Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
wow bdsm is so cute
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
