just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just found puke in my bra..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
