dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I woke up under a house in Key West
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize