these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
