If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
