I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
