smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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