all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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