Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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