He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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