I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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