I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
