My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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