last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
