sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
