apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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