"it" just moved
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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