hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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