she woke up with a sticky ear
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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