they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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