your thong is hanging out like whoa
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
