I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
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