wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
