...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
