Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
