brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
