So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Randomize
