quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
