I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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