dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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