You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
sarcasm needs its own font
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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