my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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