Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
