Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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