Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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