I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
