girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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