Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
