I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize