With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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