I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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