My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize