I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
as a side note pls kill me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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