I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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