i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
