You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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