I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
